Haven't blogged in forever. I'm just lazy and don't see the need to actually. Guess people outgrow blogs-.- (xanga should really have a -.- smiley) So yeah tomorrow's my last paper, history. I'm supposed to be studying now but I really don't have the mood. I'm so brain dead and like I'm distracted and HUNGRY. I want to eat. I'm hungry, did I mention that already? Anyway, I just felt like updating for the fun of it. I don't know why either. I guess I'm just finding reasons for myself so that I don't have to study. I really can't wait for tomorrow to be over. I'n praying hard I don't retain. Like really, need to be able to make it through to JC2. I don't want to live through all this a second time, once is more than enough, really. Oh well.

Oh yes, just fyi, my favourite singer is now officially John Mayer. His voice is so sexy and he makes good music.

Sigh, I really don't understand why it's so hard for you to say nice things. Or be less mean for that matter. I really think being tactful is important. You're missing the whole point. Doesn't mean that being tactful means you're not being direct. You can say it in a nicer way. Whenever this happens, it makes me feel as if you don't care about me, don't care if you hurt me with your words. Words really leave wounds that are hard to heal. Can't you just try to be nicer to me? I'm not expecting you to change overnight you know? I'm willing to wait only if you're willing to try. At least try. It's not gonna make you any less real. Cos this really hurts. And then you say you hate that our differences keep popping up at the wrong time and that these differences aren't doing any good. It hurts me to hear that cos to me, I see it as you don't love me even with my flaws. But as I've said, my flaws and I are a package. You either take us both or you leave. It's not that I'm not gonna try to change, but hey, no one's perfect. Right now, I'm just sorry I can't be your perfect girl, I'm sorry for all my flaws, I'm sorry for not being able to live up to your expectations, I'm sorry for being me. That's all I can say right now.

Believe - Hillsong

VERSE 1:
You are my life
You are my strength
You are my Rock
On Who I stand

I lift my voice
I raise my hands
I lift my soul
With all I am

PRE-CHORUS:
In Christ forever I'll stand
I will believe

CHORUS:
You are strong enough
In my weakness
God be lifted up
And I will sing
Lift Your praises high
Lord be magnified
You make all things new
I will believe

VERSE 2:
So, hear this song
Receive our praise
You are my strength
For all our days

We lift You up
Our voices high
In every storm
Let God arise

BRIDGE:
Oh, Your love
Your love will never fail
Your love, it knows no end
Your love will never fail

Oh, Your love
Stronger than my strength
Greater than my pain
Your love will never fail

I will believe

Hillsong always releases songs that really really speaks for me. May God continue to bless them and use them. Love this song, really. Will use this as the song for my promos

Sigh, thanks to exams, I feel fat. No exercise, my tummy's growing bigger -.- Not only that, cos of exams and the weather, my complexion is horrible cos of eczema. I'm like scratching non-stop. It's hard to even concentrate in school or while I'm studying cos I need to stop consciously stop myself from scratching sub-consciously. It's so annoying. My body is always in pain and it's all so red and patchy and yucky. I feel super ugly-.- Getting uglier and uglier by the day I swear. Sigh. It's really doing harm to my self-esteem. I know this is stupid but yes, it's affecting me. Ugh, I just want this eczema to go away and never ever ever come back again. I'm dying I swear. I want to molt and have new skin, free from all this. God please heal me now.

Woah a week since I blogged. Tomorrow's Jamie's wedding! Omg I'm so excited. Love weddings when I know the people getting married haha. Gonna rush home after school to shower and go for the wedding. Anyway, I'm kinda glad that tomorrow's the last day of the week too. This week kinda flew past once it hit the end of school on Wednesday. Mondays and Tuesdays are always always always a drag. Anyway, 17 days left to promos. So scary. Need to STUDY. So I shouldn't be here, hmm...